Have you ever pretended? Have you ever lied? Have you ever denied something that was actually the truth? Well, I have. I'm a great "keeper" of real feelings and the queen of "pretending" that every thing is alright. I promised myself to keep this blog a nice quite space on the web where I could pour out all positive vibes but at this time of need, my beauty blog will now keep this post where I pour out all my hate & hurt.
Before I make the mistake of pouring out my whole heart and soul to the WWW I'll write a letter to my alter ego instead. You see I have so many personalities. The one whose suffering right now is the Janna who takes all the bullshit life throws at her.
Dearest Janna,
Sweetie, it's Jannie. I hear you've been going through a rough time. I know you. I know you too well my dear. Out of all the people who claim to know you, I know you best because I'm part of who you are. When you hurt, I hurt. When you feel sad, I'm saddened as well. I feel everything you're feeling so even if I try to keep up a front, at the back of my mind I know we're both not truly okay. I can sense you're bothered. You've been thinking of so many things and think they're problems when in fact they aren't. They never were sweetie. I know you're worried about the future. I know you're worried about what to really do with your life. I know you're worried about your personal relationships. I know you're so scared of screwing up but you're not perfect. We aren't perfect. Nobody is. Stop blaming yourself for everything. It isn't always your fault. I just want you to know that I'll always be here. Always. We're in this together.
I love you,
Jannie
Always remember that in that sea of haters, there's a friendly mermaid named Patsy :) Admittedly, a few people who both know us asked me why I am friends with you. I just replied, "She didn't do anything to me, so we're cool. It doesn't mean that because you dislike her, I should dislike her too. But this shouldn't mean that you'll dislike me either."
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